Use this Customer Revival Letter to reconnect with a client or customer that has fallen off your radar and has not used your company for a while.
They may have been given bad service or somehow felt that your company was no longer their best choice. So maybe now they have switched to one of your competitors!
On, the other hand, they may just not have needed your products or service since the last time they contacted you.
Either way, you can use this funny business email to cajole them into contacting you again. By using humor, you don't offend the company that just hasn't needed you or your products or services and it may break through the anger or disappointment that they felt if you somehow failed them.
Try it.
Dear
It has been a long time since [ ]Howdy Doody went off the air [ ]"social distancing" became "normal" [ ]we've had the opportunity to serve you [ ]polyester was in [ ] The Twist [ ]Tarzan was orphaned [ ]gas was affordable [ ]you've taken your medication [ ]red wine was good for you
and we were wondering if [ ]you've become a rock star [ ]your solar panels are aimed at the moon [ ]your future is behind schedule [ ]the word "abbreviation" is too long [ ]the oceans would be deeper without sponges [ ]we've offended you in some way.
If you have any grievance, please [ ]call so that we might discuss the problem [ ]call someone who cares [ ]send us a photo [ ]get another opinion [ ]take flying lessons [ ]get your legs waxed [ ]look under the sofa
so that we might [ ]have a good laugh [ ]pass your name along to those nice telemarketers [ ]break your kneecap [ ]discuss the problem [ ]break out the crying towels [ ]call the police [ ]join the circus
If the reason we haven't heard from you has nothing to do with a complaint, then [ ]raid the refrigerator [ ]it would be wonderful to hear from you [ ]change your socks [ ]have a mood swing [ ]let the guards show you how to make a phone call [ ]your family tree may be a telephone pole.
Call or drop in and see us when you can.
Sincerely yours,
(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)
Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.
Return to this customer revival letter page and highlight the verse above.
Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".
Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.
Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.
Add your name at the end.
If you are sending this business credit acceptance email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.
You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)
Finally, you must enter the person's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)
Note: If you are sending out this Customer Revival Letter email to more than one person or company, you may want to enter each person or company's email address in the "BCC" address line so that nobody knows who else you are sending the message to.
Go to the Funny Free Business Email templates if you have enough nerve to use humor in the workplace. We need more people to be less serious about their business correspondence!
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