"Coffee?"

Sending out "Coffee?" to an old friend can rekindle a friendship that has lapsed.

This funny email may break the ice for you (if you haven't talked to someone for a while and are feeling a little sheepish about contacting them.)

Probably you should have called the person earlier but life got in the way and now you want to get together again for a coffee or a drink.

Try sending your friend an email with a little humor in it. Funny notes often set the right tone for people to call you, or email you or maybe even meet you for lunch!

And of course, what better way to do that than by using the coffee template below.

Try it. "Coffee" should work.

Dear

I just spent the last few days [ ]comatose [ ]drunk [ ]relaxing [ ]in a Mexican jail [ ]at the lake [ ]fasting [ ]in limbo [ ]on vacation [ ]eating [ ]trying to write funny letters [ ]scratching [ ]in an alien spaceship [ ]thinking

and I now realize that [ ]my life sucks [ ]Mick Jagger rocks [ ]naval lint is magic [ ]gasoline costs more than beer [ ]finger painting on skin can be fun [ ]I need a break [ ]I need a night out [ ]space probes aren't what I thought they were.

So, I thought I'd write this to see if [ ]you had a date for the prom [ ]I could borrow $5,000 [ ]you wanted to meet me at the pub [ ]you know Donald Trump [ ]riding in a space ship scares you [ ]you know Kim Kardashian's tailor [ ]you want to meet for lunch [ ]that rash has cleared up [ ]you've decided to plea bargain or not.

Maybe I'll feel better if [ ]we get together [ ]I dump my beanbag chair [ ]American Idol calls [ ]the cat comes back [ ]the laxative works [ ]I get the Pepto-Bismol commercial [ ]you acknowledge my presence [ ]I check into the clinic [ ]we talk

because then I'll be [ ]over the hump [ ]into a groove [ ]over my fear of shag carpets [ ]happy [ ]riding high [ ]back to reality [ ]fun [ ]out of the closet [ ]mellow [ ]pregnant [ ]into hard drugs.

So, feel free to [ ]call me [ ]go in the witness protection program [ ]vote liberal [ ]eat spinach [ ]wear socks with your sandals [ ]snort milkshake out your nose [ ]email me [ ]eat spaghetti with your fingers [ ]check with the boss first [ ]get your ears cropped [ ]whiten your teeth.

I hope to hear from you [ ]anon [ ]forthwith [ ] at once [ ]immediately [ ]soon [ ]quickly.

Your friend,

How To Transfer The Verse From This Coffee Template Into Your Email Program

These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)

Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.

Return to this Funny Email Things page and highlight the verse above.

Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".

Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.

Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.

Add your name at the end.

If you are sending this email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.

You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)

Finally, you must enter your friend's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)

Funny Email Messages

Click above to go to the Funny Email Messages page with more funny templates to choose from.

CLICK HERE to return to the Fun Things Dot Com home page.

Please note that the "What's New?" section below is updated whenever something I think is funny comes along, therefore some of these "New" blogs further down the page may already have been replaced by the time you click on them!

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